Monday, January 5, 2015

The UCC Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means.

Lately, I've seen a resurgence of law speak via Facebook. It typically looks something like this:

This is so bad for so many reasons. 

Let's talk real. The Rome Statute is a treaty that established the International Criminal Court, which has been primarily responsible for the prosecution of war crimes. The Uniform Commercial Code (UCC) is not codified law.  Rather, it is a recommendation of laws that should be adopted in the states. The UCC covers the sale of goods. If you want to look up the subsection of the UCC that's referenced ... it doesn't even exist.

Neither the Rome Treaty nor the Uniform Commercial Code apply to privacy. At all.

By continuing to use Facebook, you agree to abide by Facebook's Terms of Use. That little box labeled "I Agree" that you clicked when first opening your account? That's what that means. You gave Facebook permission to capitalize off your posts and images when you agreed to abide by its Terms of Use. If you'd like to negotiate that, shoot Facebook an email, and they will promptly delete your account for you. That's the only thing that will happen. No post on your wall is going to withdraw your consent, especially when you re-consent by continuing to use their service.

Also, Facebook is now publicly traded. Not a "public entity." 

Bottom line: the only way to prohibit Facebook from using your content for the purposes it set out in its Terms is to not post it. And if you still have an issue with privacy, get off of Facebook and actually be private. 

Does anyone else see the irony in complaining about privacy via social media?

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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My Annoying Introspective on the Dawn of Another Year

What a year.

It floors me that 2014 is on the verge of concluding. How on earth did I get old enough to be celebrating the entrance to 2015? Where did the time go? What do I have to show for those years?

The New Year will never cease to make me annoyingly introspective, but I think it has that affect on a lot of folks. The idea of a fresh start and a clean slate are too tempting to pass up to anyone who spends entirely too much time in overly-analytical thought. For not being a planner, I'm sure big on lists, and resolutions are no different. My generation has become such a end-game-oriented group that we don't seem to take any pleasure in the getting there. You set goals for yourself, lofty goals, and multiple in number - new job, lose weight, don't smoke, buy a house, commit in a relationship - not realizing that a superhero might have an issue completing all of those tasks in any given year. You end up reading over those goals at the end of December wondering why you couldn't manage to succeed. I know I wrap up every year feeling in part like a colossal failure because my resolutions list was a bust. and for some reason, I wasn't a twiggy supermodel that never smoked, read three books a month, and watched nothing but PBS. Our goals are primarily tangible things, and I think that's part of the problem, at least for me. 

How then can I manage to make it to next December without feeling bad about my lack of progress? By focusing on acts and not things. By making it about the internal motivation and not the external result. 

By showing myself the same grace I (attempt to) show everyone else.

I'll go more into it later this week because I've got too much work to finish by 4:30 this afternoon to go into detail with it now. Suffice it to say, though, there's a new (years) sheriff in town. This sheriff is going to remind herself constantly that contentment is not synonymous with complacency, and that everyone deserves kindness, especially yourself.

2015 is the Year of the Ty-ger. 

Grab a helmet, kittens.

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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

How To Not Go Crazy At Work, Vol. 1

I've made it no secret that I struggle. When you spend as much time at work as I do (doing the kind of work that I attempt to do), you inevitably end up wanting to throw yourself out the window. The past month been extra special window throw-y. Add to that my being the only lawyer in the office today, and I'm suddenly needing some things to keep me sane. I have plenty of work to do, don't get me wrong, but I thrive on taking small breaks by talking to my coworkers, and I don't have that release today.

Sometimes, you just can't deal, and you need that extra something to get you through the day. I've decided to share a list of things I do in my office that keep me from stripping naked and running full-fledged spider monkey down Garrison Avenue.


Do handstands.

Lay on my boss's credenza and act like it's a therapist's couch.

Play Songza's Scared to Look: Original Gangstas mix. And proceed to rap like no suburban white girl ever should.

Read appellate opinions that have nothing to do with any of the Department's cases on appeal. #lawnerd

Reorganize my office. Because messy desk, messy head, or some such shit.

What do you little kittens do to relieve work stress?

I'm always up for more "grownup" alternatives. Or whatever.

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