Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Chronicles of a Fat Kid

It's time to get myself in shape.

No, really guys.  I mean it.

The problem is getting myself motivated to get off my butt and go do something.

This is me.  Completely.

Sometimes, I'd even rather starve than leave the house, which completely forsakes my fat kid title.  It can just be so hard.  Going to the gym for me is like getting ready to go out.  I hate the idea of it, but once I'm doing it, it's a lot of fun.  It's not that I mind showering.  I mind getting ready.  If I were one of those lucky gals whose hair air-dried pretty-like, it'd be one thing.  But I look like a Chia Pet.


Once I start the whole process, I enjoy the makeup and the end result, and I end up feeling all Blue Steel.

Same with the gym.

I think the problem is that I've been so used to being in incredible shape my entire life that I can't figure out how to get back there.  I did gymnastics for the better half of my life, and I'm just used to having an incredibly high metabolism and endurance that lasts for days.  I worked out 25 hours a week back in those days, and realistically, no, I won't EVER be like that again, but little baby steps would be nice.  I mean, I managed to run a marathon.  I know these things aren't impossible.

For right now, I just stare burning holes into Brit Brat, circa 2001.

Those abs wil be mine.  Oh yes, they will be mine.

And let's not even talk about the crap I eat.

I have a whole slew of veggies downstairs chillin' in the fridge, but nothing to make them with.  So I open the refrigerator door and stare past them until my eyes hit some sort of cheese.  Then I go to Branson and buy two pounds of fudge and die a little and forget who I am after I reawaken from my diabetic coma.  Que sera sera.

It's going to get easier and harder for me.  I'll be doing nothing but studying from here through the end of February, so I'll be able to cook a decent meal.  But I'll be doing nothing but studying, and when I'm not, I'll just wanna sit on the couch and relax.

(relax = snacktime)

I actually love eating healthy.  I've had blood sugar issues my whole life, and I can always tell such a huge difference in how I feel based on what I put in my body.  Unfortunately, I too often fall victim to a lack of planning.  I know that's gotta change.  I want to keep the meat, keep some sugar (none of that artificial stuff), and stay away from processed crap like Rice-A-Roni that turns into a Jello-ish subtstance when left for half an hour.

(don't believe me?  do it.  it''ll make you think twice about it)

So it's time.  It's just time.  It's actually past time.  My body looks about the same as it has for a while, but the inside needs more improving than the outside.

However, if the outside wants to play copycat, I won't care much.  It'll be flattering.

Tell me, little bunnies ... got any tips on being healthy?

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  1. I've spent the last two years trying to get healthy. I have lost 45 pounds and gone from lethargic to working out 5-6 days a week.

    It ain't easy. I wish it was. It is just one small good choice at a time...and eventually they build up and they matter. Good luck!

  2. There's this iphone app - Lose it! that determines how many calories you should eat per day, keeps a log, even has a barcode scanner so you can enter in exactly what you're eating! I love it and use it everyday :)

  3. Meal planning definitely helped me a lot when I was on the healthy train. Just taking the time to plan out everything at the grocery store, then what I would eat each meal. It just made it easier for me not to say F-it and go to McDonald's. I can always tell my body is happier with me when I'm eating better too, but gosh I love french fries! haha

  4. This is hilarious, the gifs I mean!Very light-hearted, great post!

  5. it is sooo hard, especially this time of year. I have completely gone off the rails of eating healthy and working out. But I do have an excuse- broken ankle. Except why I am eating crap is not ok at all.

  6. I use to track my calories and workouts, and it also allows you to take measurements for comparisons, enter foods not listed, and gives handy reports. Plus they have a free (and EXTREMELY easy to use) app for phones. It keeps you accountable...and even will plan your meals and grocery lists while weeding out foods you won't touch.

  7. It is very hard to stay "healthy" all the time, especially this time of the year when everyone starts baking it up like Betty Crocker! I think meal planning each week is very helpful for me. I sit down Sunday morning, decide what my husband and I are going to eat for each meal throughout the week, then go get just that. If you don't buy the "crap" then you can't eat the crap! I also think it is important to have splurge or cheat days as well. Sometimes you just gotta order that hamburger and fries and that's ok, don't beat yourself up for it...just eat better the next meal!

  8. Oh girl, I have so, so many tips. I could go on for days. But I love you just the way you are. We can be tharmy together.

    And those abs. I mean, why can I not just wake up and have them? WHY?

  9. This post made me laugh and cry at the same time. I was smack in the middle of the Jilian Micheals 6 week ab workout when I found out I was pregnant. I was happy of course but I had put so much time and effort into that workout and was finally seeing results! Now?! Well.. at 15 weeks preggo I already can't fit into my pants! I'm not one of those girls that can just throw on sweats and run to the gym either. It takes time for me to get ready to go ANYWHERE. Which makes the motivation hard to come by. Anyways, I'm a new follower! XO

  10. So first of all, I completely feel you on the getting ready thing. It's such a pain, but I ALWAYS love how I feel afterwards. My hair would look crazy if I let it air dry and I really can't even use dry shampoo and it look halfway decent.

    And...that Honey Boo Boo gif is my favorite :)

  11. I think I could have written this post!! Ugh. I'm with you. Used to be able to eat Dairy Queen Sausage Biscuits and Mountain Dews for breakfast erryday and be like 110 lbs because of my awesome-sauce metabolism. Now? Not so much. I work out pretty reg. but eat pretty crappy. Still haven't made any progress on that battle!

  12. I'm exactly like you. I've been super lucky and stayed around 100 pounds most of my adult life. With a few dips into the 90's when I forget to eat for a week or up to 115 when I forget to get off the sofa.

    I have full access to a state of the art gym not 2 miles from my house. I could walk there it's so close. (hahaha but I won't)

    I just lack the motivation.

    I have access to a licensed nutritionist, and don't use it. I have access to inexpensive personal trainers and don't use it.

    I just hate leaving my house. I think if I didn't work from home it would help. I could just go to the gym on my home. But no such luck.

    Good luck!!!!

  13. I was so active growing up and through college with all the sports I played that when I graduated and got my 'big girl job' behind a desk and wasn't constantly moving I had to make a huge effort to start getting on top of my eating. I dont try to cut anything out that I really want I just restrict myself to a very small amount. I also make sure that very small amount is the best that money can buy. If I want a bacon cheeseburger, I'll eat it... but I'm not about to hit up a drive thru for one.. I'll go ahead and splurge and go to 5 guys. But limit myself to just what I want... so just the burger.. and skip on the fries. Also, the more I can eat at home the better. I keep a good amount of various proteins in individual portion size baggies in the freezer and pop one into a skillet with some frozen veggies, salt, pepper, olive oil and some other spices for a quick easy dinner.

  14. Most of all know, that you CAN do it. Don't put all the stress on yourself about having to obey the healthy rules ALL the time... just MOST of the time.

  15. Learn to cook - teach yourself. JM and I cook at home 6 - 7 nights a week. We know exactly what goes into the food and we put good things into our tummies. It sounds ridiculous, but start there - learn to cook.

    To branch out? Make a list of three recipes you want to try - or three ingredients.

    1) kale
    2) couscous
    3) fruit in a savory entree

    Find a way to use each in a meal you haven't made yet.

    I let myself eat as many veggies as I want, and then I just try and be smart about the other stuff.

    Most importantly? Be NICE to yourself! Be nice. Food is fuel and you need it. If you eat a donut one day, don't say "fuck it, I'm a fattie" and keep that cycle going. Just eat some scrambled eggs the next day and the cycle stops. Give yourself a break and think of what you CAN eat instead of what you CAN'T eat and you'll be golden.

    You can do it!

  16. I know lots of girls (and guys!) who are using phone APPS to keep up with their intake. If they can see in numbers how crappy they did the day before they know they have to step it up. I'm not one for counting, and would rather just work it off... but things change as you age and I guess you have to find a happy medium somewhere!

  17. This sounds like I wrote it! I have the worst motivation problem too. And the cheese and fudge. Yup. After working all day I just want to sit on the couch, watch bad tv and play with my dog. Ugh!

  18. I'm not so bad at the being healthy thing most of the time. Its the working out I hate. I just don't want to do it. But I think the parentals will try and give me a gym membership for Christmas and then I'll be forced to work out! We can encourage each other sister friend! Love your face.

  19. Oh loverbear.. I go straight to the cheese too.

    Can we have a support group formed?

  20. ugh, agreed. I absolutely hate working out...I'm lucky to do yoga once a week. But when I'm actually working out I enjoy myself but the act of actually getting ready and getting to the gym? hate. with passion

  21. What helps me the most is not going home...I go right from work to the gym so that the couch doesn't temp me. Especially in the winter, I know that once I get out of work clothes, there is no way I am going back. I also don't buy junk food so I am not tempted to eat...I do have a secret hidden stash for when I get desperate though :)

  22. I seriously have this same problem - I HATE gyms, and I'm not a big fan of cooking just for me. Getting my own treadmill was actaully one of the better things I ever did, because I am so much more motivated to work out when it is RIGHT THERE. As for the eating, it's a process. I too feel sooooo much better when I eat well. I just have to remind myself of that every time I reach for something crappy.

  23. I'm glad I'm not the only one who still uses B.Spears 2003 as motivation! Now I just need to motivate myself to do 1000 situps a day

  24. Stick with it! I've been in the same boat for months. I finally pulled up my big girl panties and got serious.. Lost 20 pounds in 4 months! Exercise, drink lots of water, and believe in yourself. :)

  25. Hey Tyler, just found your blog and am your newest follower :)

    I actually just started a new linkup called Fitness Friday that you might be interested in. I think we are all trying to be healthy during this time of year and who couldn't use a little motivation?


  26. Oh, girl. You are preaching to the choir. I was telling someone just today that I feel like in the last month my ass as doubled in size. NO good. I am getting back on my fitness pal and a work out routine come January 1. This is out of control!