In honor of our recent snow, let me tell y'all all about my survival skills.
And why my sister hated me as her roommate.
Well, in this particular instance. Otherwise, I think I was pretty awesome.
Flashback: Winter 2010.
i.e., Snowmageddon, Pt. 1.
As was the case for most of the plains states, Arkansas got hit ridiculously hard with some snow and ice.
When I say that, it means a light dusting of snow and icicles that destroy everything you can see.
I was a first-year law student during this particular storm. We had just started classes, only to be set free again. Naturally, we wanted to rally. I'm sure if we had been real, bonafide adults with responsible big-kid jobs and families, we would have been much less excited about the impending day after tomorrow, but since the only thing we had at stake was getting to skip out on parol evidence and getting blasted by Professor Snow, we had already started planning the party at the house.
I mean, we had sleds. AND HELMETS.
Because we're responsible.
Somewhere during this time, my sweet baby sister/roommate made the grave mistake to appoint Little Miss Ty to the supplies committee. I was to go to Wal-Mart and stock up on survival gear, just in case. That's what real grownups do.
That was where things went bad.
It was insanity in there. Like it was 1999 and middle-aged women were shanking each other for Garcia, the tie-dyed Beanie Baby. It was a killing field.
I had no idea what I was doing in the madness. The bread was gone, the eggs were gone ... and I just panicked.
I went to the canned food aisle and wandered for a while, pondering some fiesta corn, but cold green beans and slimy peaches made me prefer a shivering, starving death. I knew I couldn't get anything perishable, like milk, because the electricity always goes out for days when we get ice. Nothing that requires Top Chef skills ...
I stocked up on microwave meals.
My rationale was that if the electricity went out and the freezer turned off, we could just set them on the porch and they'd stay fresh.
Sounds legit, right? I was so proud.
Yeah. I didn't take into consideration that if the electricity went out, I WOULDN'T HAVE A MICROWAVE to cook them in.
[let me remind y'all, I graduated law school. scary, right?]
Thank goodness I had the foresight to pick up the extra things I knew I'd need to survive a winter deathcapade.
In the end, we had:
♥ String cheese
♥ Two packs of Double-Stuffed Oreos
♥ A case of beer
♥ A box of wine
♥ Solo cups
♥ Ping pong balls
[and a lot of disappointed faces from my slightly-more-practical sister]
Really, though, I should be on Man vs. Wild.
Who says I'm not a survivalist?